Divorce is an issue that, unfortunately, effects many people in the body of Messiah.
Often, people are married before they come to know Yeshua as their Lord and then find that they have made a very unwise
choice in their spouse. Even more perplexing, is the question of re-marrying after divorce – is this permissible,
or is it considered adultery?
Let’s explore what Yeshua had to say about divorce and re-marriage.
Some Pharisees came to Him
to test Him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any
and every reason?” Matthew
19:3
When we read the word “testing,” we think that perhaps the
Pharisees were insincere in their inquiry of Yeshua, but they were asking with
sincerity. They wanted to know what He
thought about divorce because the two most prominent schools of the Pharisees –
the School of Hillel and the School of Shammai – hotly debated the issue.
The question actually stems from Deuteronomy 24:1 which says:
“1If a man marries a woman who becomes
displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes
her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his
house…” Deuteronomy 24:1
The debate arose between the two Pharisaical schools because of the ambiguity of the Hebrew word used
for “something indecent”. The conservative School of Shammai took a very narrow approach to the verse. It
taught that the “something indecent” refers to adultery or sexual
immorality. So, by this opinion, a husband could only divorce his wife on the basis of unfaithfulness – she must
be unfaithful to him. With this understanding, the School of Shammai left little room for divorce.
The far more liberal School of Hillel interpreted the verse quite differently. They taught that
“something indecent” meant just about anything that the husband found
undesirable about his wife. Hillel taught that even if a wife was lacking in her abilities as a cook that that qualified
as “something indecent” and was regarded as legal grounds for a divorce.
We can find this debate recorded in the Mishnah:
The School of Shammai says a man should not divorce his
wife unless he has found her guilty of some immoral behavior as it is written,
“because he finds something indecent about her.” The School of Hillel, however,
says that a man may divorce his wife even if she has merely ruined his food as
it is written, “because he finds something indecent about her.” Gittin 9:10
The Pharisees wanted to know where Yeshua stood on this
debate. Yeshua answers them in verses 4 and 5:
"Haven’t you read,” He replied, “that at the
beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female, and said, ‘For
this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,
and the two will become one flesh’ ? So they are no longer two, but
one…” Matthew 19:4-6
Yeshua first reminds the Pharisees of the sanctity of
marriage. He quotes Genesis 2:24 and 5:2:
For this reason a man will leave his father
and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24
He created them male and female and blessed them. And
when they were created, He called them “man.”
Genesis 5:2
The reason He answered with these verses is that the Rabbis
believed that God’s original creation of Adam contained both genders, male and
female. The name “Adam” literally means ‘man’ but, it is also the proper name
given to the first “man”. The Rabbis were able to see both male and
female contained within the original “Adam”. This fact is attested to in the midrash:
When the Holy One, blessed be He, created
Adam, He created him androgynous, as it is said, “He created them male and
female and… He called them Adam.”
Genesis Rabbah 8:1
According to the midrash,
they were both Adam, that is, until Eve was removed from Adam. In fact, the
woman is not called Eve until after the fall of Adam. The only way for the
original creation to be once again complete is by joining together in marriage
and so Yeshua concludes His statement with Genesis 2:24. We can find a similar thought in the Talmud:
Rabbi Eleazar said, “Any
man who has no wife is not a full man; for it is said, ‘He created them male
and female and… He called them Adam.
’” Yevamoth 62b
Yeshua continues in verse 6:
“…Therefore what God has joined together, let
man not separate.” Matthew 19:6
With this statement Yeshua leaves no room for the liberal interpretation of Hillel. He speaks of the high
regard that God has
for marriage – something attested to in the Talmud as well:
Rabbi Eliezer said, “When a man divorces his
first wife, the very altar sheds tears.” Sanhedrin 22a
Yet, God, through Moses, did make provision for divorce and the Pharisees were quick to respond:
“Why then,”
they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of
divorce and send her away?” Matthew 19:7
This is a logical response because no one can disallow what God has allowed and that would be abolishing
the Torah. Yeshua responds:
Jesus replied,
“Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But
it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife,
except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
Matthew 19:8-9
Yeshua, in verse 8, speaks of a hardness of heart that has taken place in man since the fall
and the garden. Knowing man and woman were now imperfect and prone to sin, God, through
Moses, allowed divorce for marital unfaithfulness. Though God allowed divorce,
this was not how He intended those of His Kingdom to behave. If we are to be
members of His Kingdom, He desires us to return to the model that He
established in the Garden before the fall. Yeshua makes this clear in verse 9
by stating that anyone who divorces his wife except for marital unfaithfulness
commits adultery.
In the book of Mark this is rendered slightly different and, at first glance, would seem
to be even more stringent. Chapter 10, verse 11 says:
He answered, “Anyone who
divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her."
Mark 10:11
Here, Yeshua would seem to make absolutely no room for
divorce whatsoever. But, Brad Young, in his book“Jesus the Jewish Theologian,”
points out a possible answer for this discrepancy between the Torah and Yeshua’s declaration.
Young’s alternative translation is based upon a grammatical point in the Hebrew that
would make this verse read: “anyone who divorces his wife,” in order to marry another,
commits adultery. As we read:
In Hebrew the force of the expression would
have linked the two actions together in continuous motion: kol hasholeach et eshto venose acheret noef,
“Every one who divorced and marries another commits adultery.” Perhaps in English one could
better capture the meaning of the saying by translating it, “Every one who
divorces his wife [in order] to marry another commits adultery.”
Young, 1995. Jesus the Jewish Theologian
There is one final point that we should consider before
reaching a conclusion. That point is, that adultery was an offense punishable
by death by stoning (Leviticus 20:10). If true adultery had been committed, then
there would have been no need for divorce. This makes Yeshua’s answer even harder to understand.
So, what is the answer to this question that haunts so many in Yeshua’s redeemed community?
Yeshua’s response was intended to get each man to consider
the motive of his actions – to get him to search his heart and to call himself
to a higher standard of Torah observance, just as He had done in so many of His teachings.
Are there any other reasons for one to divorce their spouse,
other than adultery? In answering the question of whether or not divorce is
permissible, we must take a more personal look at the matter. Marriages in
Israel were arranged by the parents and were made by those who were under the
covenant obligation to live by certain standards. And so, a higher standard
should be and was applied.
Believers today, however, often find themselves coming to
faith years after being married and living under conditions that are not
tolerable. Often, they are in abusive situations, with drug addicts or
criminals. This is not how Yeshua intends or desires His redeemed to live. Yet,
often, when believers go to their pastor for advice, they end up receiving the
verses quoted above as a warning to remain in their current situation.
Adultery represents a complete breakdown in the
marriage and a violation of the marriage vows. This happens because of a
total lack of love and respect for one's spouse and it was for
this reason that Yeshua said divorce was allowed. Abuse, neglect, and criminal
behavior also represent a violation of vows and a lack of love and
respect.
The Rabbis teach that the preservation of life takes precedent
over the commandments and yet Pastors still allow, and at times, encourage
people to remain in marriages that could take their lives. It is time that
we realized that Yeshua said, "Every one
who divorces his wife [in order] to marry another commits adultery"
and, we should live our lives, and counsel others to live their lives, by this
standard. While remembering the high regard that Yeshua has for marriage and that:
“When a man divorces his first wife, the very altar sheds tears.”
Is re-marriage permissable? It was never God's intention that man live alone.
Rabbi Eleazar said, “Any
man who has no wife is not a full man; for it is said, ‘He created them male
and female and… He called them Adam.
’” Yevamoth 62b
Kehilat Sar Shalom
